Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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