think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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