I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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