How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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