found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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