I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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