I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
