OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
