I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
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