Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
