i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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