If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
