i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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