I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
