hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
