Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
