we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Acid is not a monday night drug
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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