New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
