it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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