She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
