Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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