He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
