The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
