I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
