You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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