I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
