even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want to make out with him forever
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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