wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
