ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
