Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
