Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
