My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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