he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
