I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
