I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
pray to the hookup gods
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
