I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
