It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
