You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We left the knife in your bed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize