she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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