yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
