where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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