so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
