I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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