we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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