Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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