Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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