I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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