You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
