You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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