my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
