he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
