Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
