then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
