I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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