this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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