Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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