you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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