is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize