Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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