He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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