girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize