you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
