does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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