On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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