well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
