I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
