we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
