You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
